The Adventures of an Intrepid Introvert: Confession #1

Braving Fred Meyer’s on Valentine’s Day…


On the best day, my little introverted self struggles with crowds.  Be they crowds of people, of cars, or of dogs…too much of anything overwhelms me and sends me into a tailspin of irritated impatience.  I’m not proud of this, but it remains a fact.  Crowds ≠ Sane Lynda.  Some days I wake up and know that I should not be around people.  When one of these moods shows up during the grossest made-up holiday, created to make single people feel like failures, it is officially, The Worst.

So…I’m dusting off my blog today to vent, but also because I’ve been wanting to dust the blog off for a while now, and I figured this was as good excuse as any!

Truthfully, the day started off well.  I woke up early, coffee was ready, so I spent two hours in bed reading…this is my favorite way to start the day.  The knowledge that it was Saturday, and thus a day I don’t have to work, made the morning all that much sweeter.  When I did drag myself out of my room, The Mom surprised me with a Valentine’s Day gift from both her and The Cat…a grill-set and chocolates, respectively.  I hadn’t remember it was VD at all, so I instantly felt guilty for not giving her an equally thoughtful gift.  Instead I apologized and she requested two new food bowls for The Cat.

After a load of laundry, and watching the insanely pretentious, and equally horrible movie, The Letter, (which reinforced my feelings about James Franco, and further tarnished my tender feelings for Winona Ryder), I finally dragged myself off to Fred Meyer’s.  This is where things started to go wrong…

1). Everyone in South East King County had also decided that Four Corners in Maple Valley was where the wanted to be…

2). They also decided that in honor of this very special retail holiday, they would bring their entire family to the store with them (people…this is not quality family time)…

3).  Those families actually driving their vehicles decided today was a nice day to stroll down the highway a good 10-15 mph below the speed limit…

4).  I didn’t have my debit card!

The Mom had to go to the dentist the previous day, so she borrowed the card, and both of us forgot to get it back from her.  The Cat’s bowls, the guilt roses, and the food were purchased with the credit card.  However, the Red Box rental would be a different story.

I slogged my way back home through the morass of suburban, weekend drivers:  dropped off the guilt flowers, The Cat’s bowls, and lunch; picked up the debit card; pulled back on to the disheartening highway.

After almost parking in a cart return spot, I got in line at the rental kiosk, wondering how the chattering families in front of me could be so cheerful standing in queue.  (Though my spirit did reach out to the teenage boy wearing head phones, and clearly wishing he could be back in his bedroom reading Kurt Vonnegut.  A kindred spirit, no doubt).  Finally at my intended destination, I swiped my card, only to find out that this destination didn’t have the movies I reserved online.  This, it turns out, is because the two kiosks do not share an interconnected database, as I had assumed.  So back in line I get, and am finally on my home with Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (not sure I’m going to like this, but figured it’d look pretty in HD), and Tusk (in anticipation of going to see Kevin Smith in Seattle next Saturday) riding innocently along in the passenger seat.

Those of you who can deal with these frustrations with a sunny disposition…I tip my hat to you, and secretly hate you. (Unless you’re one of the people whom I love, then I love you regardless of how sunny your disposition might be).  For me…this is what I imagine hell to be: crowds of slow people all standing between me and my goal.

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